


Fairy Bread - Gamzee POV.

by HonkingHonkFriend



Series: Fairy Bread [2]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Eeey finally did part two
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-09
Updated: 2015-11-09
Packaged: 2018-04-30 19:42:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,937
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5177348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HonkingHonkFriend/pseuds/HonkingHonkFriend
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Uh, bro, I gotta go, Dad just got pulled over." You tell him, before hanging up. You and your sisters stare intently as the police officer walks up to your dad's window. He grumpily opens the window and glares at the police officer.<br/>"What the fuck do you want?" He snaps.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fairy Bread - Gamzee POV.

Fairy Bread — Gamzee POV.

When you and your family woke up, it was about six. You all had an hour to get everything together, and get in the car so you could go see your mother. Whoever wasn't in the car, wasn't going. When you went to tell Karkat, he was all kinds motherfucking unhealthy. No way you could make your best friend leave the house in conditions as this. You left your paint for last as you pulled on some trackie-dacks, your dad's jacket that's at least three sizes too big for you, and a t-shirt that had a picture of Sons of Anarchy on it. Your dad was into the weirdest shit.

Before you left, you made sure to get Karkat plenty of food and drinks, that way he wouldn't have to leave his room to get anything. You hugged him, and let him sleep before running off downstairs. Locking the house doors, you went out to the garage and sat in the middle of the back. You don't really mind where you sit. Meenah and Feferi make themselves comfortable next to you, while Kurloz sits up front next to your father.

Your trips to the hospital usually take about an hour, because your mum's in the best hospital money can buy up in the Northern Territory, so she's up in Darwin.

Most of the drive consisted of everyone chattering away excitedly, or you, Feferi, and Meenah, all telling horrible puns. Much to Kurloz's and your dad's distaste. About an hour and half an hour into your drive your phone went off, causing Karkat's ringtone, AKA Fuck This Shit I'm Out to ring aloud in the car. Your entire family and yourself broke into swollen laughter. Soon recomposing you answered your phone with a smile as you leaned on Feferi.

"Yo best friend, whassup?" You ask, drawling a little as you usually do. You also grin widely. You can basically hear your best friend's mental face-palm, not that it bothers you. Soon your best friend's voice started up all quiet-like.  
"I'm hungry." He grumbles, and your smile drops into a pout.  
"Aww," you go. Kurloz turns to you somewhat and raises an eyebrow. You also hear Karkat groan in annoyance.  
"Yeah yeah, shut the fuck up for a second and answer my question." He snaps, loud enough for you and Feferi to hear, and you assume Meenah, because you catch her muttering with a snicker about how your best friend's a riot.  
"I'm all motherfucking ears best friend." You respond, sitting up and fixing your belt. Incidentally, you lean against Meenah. To which, she grabs you around the neck-not hard at all- and starts noogie-ing you, but no matter how light the grab was, you let out an unintentional "hurk!"  
"Gotcha now, shrimp!" She cackles, continuing to noogie you. Feferi soon joins in on the action, tickling your sides happily. Soon the back of the car is filled with laughter, honking, and glubs. Which easily gets to your father, due to him not having had not much sleep last night. When he stops at the next traffic lights, he turns to face you three and glares.  
"All you motherfuckers calm your motherfucking shit and sit in your own fucking spots or I swear to the Mirthful Messiahs I'll shut you all up myself!" He snaps. Meenah and Feferi soon remove their hands from you and you quickly sit up, fretting about with your phone. Your father lets out a grunt and turns back to face the road.  
"Messiahs above…" Kurloz mumbles, earning him a glare as well. Sure shut him up.

When the car started to drive, you again fixed your seating before returning to your conversation with Karkat. "Sorry about that, best friend." You say, and not even a second later, Karkat blurts out.  
"What the hell is fairy bread?"  
It leaves you flabbergasted. Even more flabbergasted than when your dad told you that your pet turtle, Rodwin, had left his shell. You're still somewhat suspicious of the claim, but Feferi and Meenah reassure you that it was a normal thing, and who are you to not listen to your older sisters? You stare ahead for about ten seconds before your brain finally allows you to speak.  
"Ho-how… I. I cannot. I don't–" you start stuttering, and you can't stop.  
"I heard it's popular." Is all you catch while you continue to stutter into the mic. Your siblings are staring.  
"It's- Mirthful Messiahs-" you continue to stutter and your father scolds you for using the Messiah's name in vain. You continue anyway. "How do you not-" you stop and take a deep breath before continuing to talk. "Okay. Do we have sprinkles in the house?" You ask. Your sibling are still staring. Kurloz is going as far to raise an eyebrow before rolling his eyes.

Karkat shuffled around at first, presumably looking for sprinkles. "Yeah…?" He responds in a questioning tone.  
"Okay, bread?" You continue.  
"Yup."  
"Butter or margarine?" You ask again. You think your family's getting what's going on now.  
"Yeah, your family buys butter by the bucket." Karkat groans.  
"Doesn't matter," you say, "now, get like, I dunno, however bread slices you want. Just go get them." You tell him. You're pretty sure your father wants to thwack you on the back of the head for telling Karkat to take as much bread as he wants. "I am going to teach you the miracle is fairy bread." You say. You're pretty sure Karkat's getting out some bread.  
"Okay, I got my bread." He tells you.  
"Now get the sprinkles and the butter." You say, quickly cut off by Karkat. He's motherfucking good with that thing.  
"I'm gonna butter it and put the fucking sprinkles on it, aren't I?" He asks.  
"Yesss," you respond, grinning widely. "But, I must direct you, because, you might not do it correctly." You tell him. You still don't get why he says you talk online with Tavros too much.  
"I must learn the Australian way," he says, probably trying to humour you.  
It works.

"Fairy bread is special, Karkat," you tell him in a laugh.  
"Ugh, just get on with it, Gamzee." He tells you with a groan.  
"Now get your motherfucking butter knife, the sweetest motherfucking butter knife you're to having." You tell him, once again leaning on Feferi, who simply pats your head.  
"I've acquired the knife," he tells you, and you grin real wide.  
"Sweeeeeet," you drawl, honking again. "Now go put some butter on the knife," you say, and your family slowly turns to you. Your dad throws a small glance, but otherwise keeps his eyes on the road. "Enough so that your knife has a ring of butter." You tell him, only for absolutely everyone in the car-including yourself- to yell out 'a ring of butter', it's like a beautiful symphony to you. Everyone laughs before you finally continue your instructions to Karkat.  
"The ring of butter's on the knife." He said, trying to entertain your joy. Which was working.  
"Alright, now, spread the butter on the bread, including the crust on top." You once again begin to instruct.  
"It's a good job you're directing me," he says, then muttering; "I never butter the crusts." In a muffled yawn.  
"Exactly." You say proudly, nodding as if Karkat were right there next to youx  
"Okay, the bread is sufficiently buttered." Karkat says, although you misheard him and responded with-  
"Now do the same with any remaining butter." You definitely meant bread. Not butter.  
"The bread is completely slathered in butter, Gamzee." H chides.  
"Good. Now, it is time for the most important part of all…" you say, before jumping in your seat with a squeal. "The motherfucking sprinkles!" Karkat groans loudly at your enthusiasm- he must not be feeling that good yet.  
"Get on with it." He snaps.  
"Now. You must very carefully. Sprinkle from top left to bottom right." You start to explain, Karkat cuts you off.  
"In the shape of a cross first?" He asks.  
Then too right to bottom lefts. Then you sprinkle the entire motherfucking thing." You finish explaining with a nod. You're pretty sure Karkat's put you on speaker phone because of how you can hear the phone bump against the table. "Then you shake the 100's and 1000's on the plate. Now you're up and motherfucking done. You've got the best motherfucking fairy bread ever." You say proudly.  
"Thank you Gamzee, I would have done this incorrectly without you. Here I was, thinking it was fucking simple." Karkat says, and your proudness only beams more.  
"Everyone does. You're lucky you have me." You say with a nod.

Okay, maybe that was a little egotistical on your side, but you're seriously proud of yourself right now, and Karkat's next sentence doesn't really do anything but inflate your ego even more.  
"Oh my God, this tastes fucking miraculous." He says, and you almost squeal your head off.  
"I told you it was a miracle, best friend." You respond, very happily.  
"Australia is fucking magical." As Karkat talks, Meenah asks you why you're so happy so you tell her about Karkat saying 'miraculous' in his own miracle way. Causing you to squeal happily alongside Feferi. You always did get along with Feferi the best out of your entire family, despite your fear of water. You and Feferi keep giggling as Karkat continues. "I will never stop eating this bread. I'm gonna force-feed it to my family when we go back to America." Karkat says, and you laugh, sounds like a great plan, really. "This is fucking beautiful." He finishes, along with presumably his first sandwich.  
"Just wait until I make it for you, I have a special addition sometimes." You say, then stretch while whispering. "I mix the butter with Nutella." That just earned you a side-glance from your father.

You're going to have to explain that you're the one eating all the Nutella when no one's home, now. But, Karkat regains your attention easily.

"It just got better. Oh my fucking God." He states, probably waving his arms around.  
"I'm glad you like it, best-" you start, only for a police siren to cut you off. Meenah, Feferi, and yourself all turn back to look at the police car with immediate curiousity. Kurloz looks through the mirror like your father, although he remains silent, unlike your dad who yells loudly-  
"Oh my- sweet shredded motherfucking Casper the ghost, what do those motherfucking hentai watching degenerates want NOW?!" Babara yells loudly, causing everyone to shut the fuck up, even Karkat on the other line. You hesitantly pull your phone up.  
"Uh, bro, I gotta go, Dad just got pulled over." You tell him, before hanging up. You and your sisters stare intently as the police officer walks up to your dad's window. He grumpily opens the window and glares at the police officer.  
"What the fuck do you want?" He snaps.  
"Sir, your blinker is broken." The police officer responds, motioning to the back of your dad's ute. Strange, the blinker lights don't look broken, maybe it's something with the wiring.

Your father and the officer argue for a while, this includes your dad going as far as getting out of the car and almost whacking the motherfucker a good couple times. Welp, when you get home he's probably going to go to get called to court. Not that that's anything new to your family. Eventually your dad gets a fine and forces the officer to piss off, then you continue your drive to Darwin.

This, is so much fun.


End file.
